I know, I know. Another post about all the latest buzzwords and phrases– wellness, empowerment, loving yourself, mindfulness… need I go on? Well, actually, I feel I do (and I’m sorry in advance).
No surprise here– body image is tangled up in what we do at She & Me. Everyone, and I really do mean everyone, worries, “How does this angle make my neck look? Should I be doing the skinny arm pose here?” It’s that awkward I-Have-No-Idea-What-My-Body-Is-Doing moment that we all have had (I had an especially embarrassing moment awhile ago– if you have the humor of a child, feel free to ask me about it) and it gets worse when we know someone is taking photos of us.
You all have heard me say that I am the worst in front of the camera and I always claim that Caleb can’t take a good photo of me, despite the hundreds and hundreds of beautiful moments he captures of our clients. I hate seeing pictures of myself from the present and instead prefer to pore over old photos of myself, wishing I was that thin again– is this sounding familiar to any of you? But when those photos were taken, I didn’t think much of myself then, either. No, I thought my calves looked too muscular and agonized over my lack of pronounced chin.
Something funny happened to me a few weeks ago, though, when I was looking at our own engagement photos again. Instead of saying, “Oh my god, my thighs were so small” (ok, I totally still despaired over my former vs. current body), I started to see the actual moments that were captured. We were happy, perfectly content to be spending time together, and I no longer saw a girl that worried about her appearance… she just was. She was enjoying the moment and her calm disposition was tangible.
I’m not promising that you won’t look at the photos we take of you and groan at some “imperfect” physical feature. In fact, I know it’s going to happen and I’m not here to tell you how to treat yourself. We all know we can give ourselves a break and we know, deep down, that our bodies deserve some love from our brains. I don’t love myself nearly as much as I should and I have no right to get up on that soap box and tell you 10 Steps for Self-Acceptance because, let’s be honest, I’m probably still on step 2.
I do want to tell you this, however: When you’re with just Caleb and me, try to forget about how you look and simply enjoy the quality time with your honey. It is not worth the worry and the stressing and the agonizing and the fitting room tears because I promise that even if you can’t see the beauty in yourself now or next month or even next year, you will see it eventually and you’ll be kicking yourself in the pants for not believing it earlier. We rarely listen to the people closest to us, so take it from us– we really do see the strengths in each of you and we love capturing it. And until you believe it, those photos will be sitting there, patiently waiting for you to see it when you’re ready, with memories that are all the more meaningful.